Gideon's Letter

This morning Gideon and I were finishing up some school work from the sick days he had missed.  We got to a paper where he had to write a letter.  He said "Who should I write it to?" I said "Anyone you want," (mostly because I wanted him to get on with the assignment! It was time to get moving!)
Not surprisingly, he chose Dad.  He has a great relationship with Barak and his letter blessed my heart. 

Almost brings tears every time I read it :)

Then, wouldn't you know... a few minutes later this same kid and his sister were arguing and "exchanging words" that weren't quite as kind.  Before you know it, I'm chiming in.  "If you say another mean word, you will lose 10 pennies and have a time-out." (We have been doing this thing where they all work to put pennies in a jar to fill it up.  When it's full we will do something fun.  I will admit I haven't been as consistent as I should've been, but whenever I am it works well for them.)  There were words.  There were time-outs.  Pennies were taken away.  I had to step away because I was frustrated.  This was not how our mornings were supposed to go.  This was not how my children were supposed to talk to one another.  I wasn't supposed to be raising my voice about that.  UGH!  Then I remembered something Michelle Duggar had said (Remember, mama of 19 kids.  I'm an admirer of many of her principles...not the wearing skirts part.) She said she had heard to "Make sure you praise your children 10 times more than you correct them."
My aha moment, "I have got to get back to being positive!"  So, I stopped and told them how much I loved them and how I desired for us to be a close family who builds each other up.  I'm sure all they heard was "Wa wa wa wa... wa wa wa wa..." ;)  But, I was inspired!  Then I told them that they would get a penny for every time they said something kind to each other.  Only rules, it didn't count if they were talking to me and they couldn't say the same kind thing twice.  That sounds kind of bad now that I put it in writing, but you get the drift. 
They were all about it.  I heard "I love you Hannah.  I love you Gideon.  You are a nice brother.  You are a good artist."  And the whole mood changed. 
How powerful words are.

Then, tonight at church, a high school student was telling her mom and I about youth group.  She was excited and said that the youth pastor was talking about how God never says bad things to us or beats us up, and that he (the youth pastor) referred to his own son and how he would NEVER say mean things to him. 
Gulp.  I thought, "I wish I could say I had never said anything I wish I wouldn't have to my children."

They are the most precious gifts and there have been times that I have gotten caught up in the moment and said something I regretted.  Honestly, I don't think I've ever said anything that they really remember or that was traumatic or permanently damaging.  But, I have used tones that were not called for, and words that were definitely less than Christ-like.

When I pulled in to my driveway tonight I got out of my car and literally heard yelling down the street.  It was the sound of some kids and parents arguing.  I felt so sad for the kids, and for the parents. 

All day today I have been reminded of how my words and my attitude affect others~ especially my children. I can be an outpouring of love, much like Gideon's letter, or I can "let 'em have it" as I heard when I go out of my car.  I can teach my kids to build each other up, or I can join in the party of knocking others down. 

My desire is to share the light and love of Christ to my kids through a joyful heart and words that build them up and let them know that they are loved.  My prayer is that of Psalm 19:14:

 ¹⁴ May the words of my mouth
      and the meditation of my heart
   be pleasing to you,
      O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

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