Hiccup!

The hiccups!  Everyone gets them from time to time.  These loud bursts seem uncontrollable and are usually more annoying than anything.  And, have you ever noticed that as soon as you get them everyone is quick to let you  know how to get rid of them?  "You have the hiccups? Oh! Well, you should...Just take a drink.  Swallow some sugar.  Hold your breath and count to 10.  Stand on your head.  Hang off of your bed and drink a glass of water upside down while holding your nose.  (Makes me LAUGH every time I get them!)

While Barak and I lived in Colorado I worked at Focus on the Family.  Every morning we would have a short devotion and prayer time with our team.  One lady kept asking us to pray for her brother who was a recovering addict.  We had been praying for him during this recovery process and been praising God for how well he was doing.  One day she said that he was struggling again.  I talked briefly to her personally after our prayer time.  When I asked how she felt about her brother's struggle, she said that it was hard, and she was sad, but that it was "Just a Hiccup."  A small setback.  She had no doubt God would keep working and her brother would get back on his journey to God.

The title of this blog is "Happy New You."  I started it to use as a way for me to process through and share my journey of becoming the most Christ-like me as possible.  I shared some goals and was really working towards them.  Well, God has done a lot of work in me and I have made progress in a lot of ways.  However, I am nowhere near where I want to be.  I have fallen short in so many areas.  I've had days where I've had an extremely messy house, gone overboard on the eating of chocolate bars, lost my temper with my kids, and skipped exercise because I "just didn't feel like it."   The HICCUPS.

In these moments it is easy to feel discouraged, and to want to give up.   But, hiccups are temporary.  We needn't give up.  Instead, we need to stop in our tracks and turn to God. Take a deep breath of His grace.  Sit in His peace.  Ask for His wisdom.  Pray for His power. And begin again.  Happy New You, friends!  :)

Daddy Date Night

Today I am cashing in a Christmas present and going on a date with my Dad.  We're going to see Bill Cosby live and then out to dinner.  My family grew up on the "The Cosby Show" and I am so excited to spend some one-on-one time with my dad. 

I must say that I have been extremely blessed by having the dad that I have.  I know that many do not have such a relationship.  I have always been close to my dad, and I know that it was not an accident.  As far back as I can remember my dad has always made an extreme effort make me (and my brother!) a priority.  And looking back, I see that the reason we are so close is because he always made an effort to care about what I cared about.  He made me feel special.  He listened to me, dreamed with me, and walked through the everyday moments of life completely engaged.   He helped me win a science fair (Yay for "The Six Simple Machines!) He built the set for my 4th grade church musical debut (Save Colby's Clubhouse!) He drove my friends to the bowling alley in middle school (In the station wagon... with the seat in the back that faced backwards... Oh, yeah!)  In High School, he even took me shopping for a Semi-formal dress!  My dad was always very strict (I LITERALLY did not ever watch a PG-13 movie until I was 13.  My friends can attest to this.) But, because I knew he loved me so much and respected him I usually ;) obeyed the rules.

Don't get me wrong, we have had a few rough times.  I have hurt his feelings (like when we got to Girl Scout camp and instead of asking him to walk me in I said "you can go now dad." Ouch!) He has upset me, but we have always remained close. 

In college one of my professors, Dr. Paul Fetters, said "The most important decision you will EVER make for your children is who their dad will be."   That one line greatly impacted me.  I always knew I wanted to marry someone who would be an awesome father like my dad, but this really hit home.  When I met Barak he was living with his sister and 3 year old Nephew.  From the moment I saw them together I knew that he would be a good dad.  And now, 10 years and 4 kids later, he has become an amazing dad to our kids.

One of his best qualities as a dad is that he is constantly thinking through how are kids must feel or think about different situations, as well as how what is happening today will affect our future.  Many times he has said to me "I bet Hannah feels...." "I think Joshua is acting that way because...." "I think Gideon needs some extra time with dad..."  "I think Selah feels left out..."  He has carried on the "Daddy date" tradition and loves taking Hannah out and spending quality time with Selah.  Our boys LOVE that I'm having a date with my dad because if means "BOYS NIGHT!" for them. 

Barak often has to remind me NOT to talk about certain things in front of the kids (like how terrible a dentist visit was!)  And something that has spoken volumes to me is that he has literally NEVER been upset over a messy house when he knew I was spending quality time taking care of the kids.

Like every marriage, we have had ups and downs in life, but no matter what we were going through, he always kept the kids a priority.    I know that our kids have absolutely NO doubt that their dad loves them and wants the best for them.  For that, I am so grateful.  I'm sure when my girls are married have kids of their own (Oh my! I'm not ready to even THINK about that!!!) they will love dating their dad too!

I know that this blog is getting crazy long, but I just have to say a few more things.   I know that there are many single moms who struggle with the fact that their child's father is not involved.  I will not pretend to know what you are going through.  However, I do know that there are men who are willing to be a positive example in your child's life.  My dad has been a Boy Scout leader (and is now a Scoutmaster) for almost 20 years (and 8 of those were after my brother had graduated out of the program.)  And last,  not to go all "spiritual" on us, but no matter what our relationship with our earthly father was or is like, our Heavenly Father absolutely wants to spend time with us every day.  He wants to love on us.  He cares about or future. He wants the best for us.

 He wants a "Daddy date" with you!

Have you seen HER?!

*These are not the actual PJ pants.  Just a dramatazation* :)

Have you seen that lady in Purple Flannel PJ pants pumping gas at the gas station?! Um. Tacky.  I would never go out like that.  Also, I saw her put her kids into the van and they weren't wearing any shoes.  Then, she gave them little donuts to eat.  Donuts!  Her kids will be obese. Good thing I'm way better than her... Oh, wait... I AM her.

Yes, I was the one at the gas station in PJ pants this morning.  But before you judge, hear me out.  I got less than four hours of sleep.  And, I made getting my older two kids to school on time a priority over what I was wearing.  Can you grant me a little GRACE?!

I am so very far from perfect.  EVERYDAY I am reminded of this.  I'm not just talking about the "Big" stuff, I'm talking about the small imperfections that seem to plague my everyday life.  For example:
~ The wearing of PJ pants to the gas station
~ My tantrum throwing child.  Full out, on the floor screaming in the grocery store.
~ Forgetting to put my 2011 registration sticker on my license plate and getting pulled over.  Twice.
~ The sink that is overflowing with dishes
~ My Christmas lights that are still hanging outside (Sorry neighbors!)
~ The fact that my son is watching TV at this very second so that I can write this blog.
~ Being the last one in the preschool line (I mean, someone has to be... But no one wants to be, right?!)

This list could literally go on for pages. PAGES! I may be the only one, but I just do not have it all together all of the time (umm... or ever!)

Though I won't usually come right out and say it, I know when I am falling short.  It is often unproductive to tell me how I'm doing something wrong.  I usually know and already feel terrible about it.  Hearing whispers behind my back or getting comments implying that someone else could do a better job being me than me isn't going to help the situation. (Disclaimer: there are certain situations where confrontation out of love is called for... but not in these pj wearing instances!)

Living through these imperfections has giving me incredible gratitude for the GRACE that has been showered over me ~ especially through this season of raising small children.  While (of course!) I am ultimately the most thankful for the GRACE I have received through Christ, that's not what has tugged at my heart this morning.  I'm talking about the times that people grant GRACE in the everyday moments of life. 

 ~The neighbors haven't pounded on the door yet warning us to take down those lights (or else!~ although that may be coming soon.)
~ The cop let me go with a warning.  Twice. (and yes, same cop!)
~ I have friends that are willing to tread their way through the mess and drink a cup of coffee while I do the dishes.
~My son's preschool director always hugs me and tells me what a great mom I am.  She embodies what it means to be an encourager and I always feel good when I'm around her.
(Again the list could go on for pages of the way I have been granted GRACE!)

Whenever we come in contact with someone we have a choice of the way we will treat them.  We can choose to judge, gossip, and build OURSELVES up by thinking "Wow, I'm better than that."  OR, we can extend GRACE. We can put ourselves in their shoes.  We can offer support instead of judgement.  We can listen instead of gossip.  We can choose to believe that they are doing the best they possibly can at that moment, and to let go of the rest. 

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says:
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

  Let's be on the same team.  Let's build each other up so that we can be the best we can be.  Let's focus on each other's strength's instead of each other's weaknesses.  And as we experience GRACE, let's all get in the habit of extending GRACE... as Christ did for us.

Rubber Gloves and Diarrhea

***DISCLAIMER: If you are offended by the title of this blog, then you best just move on.  I hesitated writing this, but friends, this is real life! And I am using this blog as sort of a journal and I definitely needed to remember this!***


Do you know what no one tells you about motherhood? (Besides the netted underwear... but that's for another day!) All of the crap that you will encounter along the way! I'm not talking about the metaphorical "whining, crying, disobeying" crap.  I'm talking about the literal poop.  The diapers, the potty training, the accidents, the wiping of the bottoms... AND, Diarrhea.  (Oh my, I am actually laughing just putting this into words.  But, isn't it soooo true?!)

Tonight around 6:00, my sweet 4 year old Joshua said that he didn't feel well.  He laid down on a blanket and pillow near Barak and I and fell asleep.  About half an hour later he woke up and had thrown up.  Oh no! I thought we were through all of this!  I got him in the bath, put the blanket and clothes in the washer and settled him in on the couch with a bowl. :(   Before I go on, let me just say that he is such an amazing boy when he is sick.  He takes it very well.  He stays in good spirits and I feel so badly for him.
Joshua got sick a few more times and then said "Mom.  I'm sorry but I pooped my pants."  (Note, Joshua is fully potty trained, but hey! Diarrhea is a whole different game.) So I changed his underwear and convinced him to wear a pull up.  About 10 minutes later, another accident.  So, I took him into the bathroom and took off the pull-up to change him.  Just as I was throwing it away, he started to throw up.  So, I grabbed the bowl and he squated down and used the bowl.  Well, this is wear it got gross.  While he was squatting he had a huge #2 accident.  I told him it was ok, and had him move over while I started to clean up.  As he moved it happened again! We're talking the floor, walls, everything! (I know, a little too much info.  Sorry!)   I got him cleaned up and put him in the bathtub again.  Then grabbed a roll of paper-towels (This was NO time to be eco-friendly) and my rubber gloves.  I finally got most of it cleaned up and was down to the disinfecting portion of my clean up.  I'm on my hands and knees with rubber gloves and trash bag full of stinky paper towels and look up to see Selah drawing on a Magna-Doodle in bed.  Then she says "Look at my picture mom! The girl pooped all over the sink! GROSS!"

That was it.  My disgust and exhaustion turned to laughter.  I laughed and laughed. I just stopped and thought "Is this really happening?! Hilarious!"  And all the while my sweet Joshua just quietly took his bath.
A few minutes later I got him out and settled back on the couch.  He finally fell asleep and I thought "It is all SO worth it. Crap and all."  I <3 my sweet Joshua (and the other three too!)

Oops!

Joshua and Selah wanted to make chocolate milk for lunch today.  I said "Sure!"  A few minutes later Joshua says "Oops!"  He had spilled one of the cups. I grabbed the paper towels and started cleaning up. Then he says "Well, I better put some more in there," and managed to accidentily dump it all over himself and the floor. 
I decided to follow the old saying... "Don't cry over spilled milk."    :)

All My Lovies

Tonight as the kids were in bed Hannah said "Don't forget my 'stuffy.'  Selah asked for her build-a-bear named Carly, and while I was looking for her I found Joshua's special blanket and stuffed animal. And I started thinking, "You know what? I'm not only responsible for my four children. I am basically the pseudo mom/caregiver for Buddy, Sheepy, Care Bears Covers, Flowers Covers, Doggie, Kitty, Blankie, Carly, and Polka Dot Covers.   They must always be accounted for.  And sometimes I have to "feed" them, wash them, hold them, and carry them around just like they were one of my own.  I don't mind (usually!), because they mean so much to my kids.
 I love how loved they feel when they have all of their "lovies."  Buddy, Sheepy, Doggie, Kitty, and Carly never cease to show love to my kids.  (And yes, I know they are stuffed animals, and can never truly show the kind of love that God can use me to show him) BUT... when I see the way Joshua hugs his blanket and Doggie, I know that the love he feels from them is very real to him.  My desire? To show true, Godly love to those that I love. And trust me, I have a LONG way to go.

Lord, help me to embody true love to my husband, my children, my family, my friends, and all those that may cross my path.  Even when it is so incredibly difficult...

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. 6 It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.... 13 There are three things that will endure -- faith, hope, and love -- and the greatest of these is love. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:3-7, 13

You're Not My Mother

This morning I was reading Mark, Chapter 3.  Jesus has appointed the twelve disciples, and then goes into a house.  A crowd gathered there, enough people that "he and his disciples were not even able to eat." (Funny to me that this is how they tell us how crowded it is... Thinking about food!) Anyway, then Jesus teaches a lesson.  But, that wasn't what caught my attention this morning, so I'm going to skip to the next part.

Mark 3:31-35

      "Then Jesus' mother and brother arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him.  A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him. "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you."
      "Who are my mother and my brothers?" he asked.
      Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother."

So, Jesus is making an important point here.  He is putting priority on following God, not family tradition.  He is showing that by following Him we are a family, a community.

But, my mama heart was offended for a brief moment. To quote Stephanie Tanner from Full House, "How rude?!" I played out how I would have felt "You know what? You may be God's Son, but I still birthed you into this world.  I fed you, clothed you, and now it's as it you're saying "You're not My Mother! Hmph."

The Bible doesn't say anything about how Jesus' mother responded, but it does seem as though she always puts God's will in Jesus' life first.  Imagine the sacrifice she made while watching Jesus carry out his calling?  You may recall another time when she doesn't know where Jesus is and he is teaching in the temple.  Imagine the trust she had to put in God to let her baby follow him.  Jesus was God in human form, but Mary wasn't.  I'm sure she fought some of the same feelings we do today.   Feelings of wanting to control each moment of our kid's lives, of wanting to make choices for them, and of wanting to be at the top of his priority list. 

My prayer after reading this...  "Lord, help me to put YOUR will first in my kid's lives~ even when it means I have to step out of the way."

I Hired Myself

Last week I woke up on my "day off" and knew that I had to clean the house.  I was absolutely NOT in the mood.  I threw in a load of laundry and found $5.  Woohoo!  At that moment I had a genius thought...

this is what I posted on facebook:
Pretending that I have hired myself to clean my house. When I'm done, I'm going to pay myself the $5 I just found in the laundry. My life is glamorous :)

I really did pretend to get hired, and I went to work!  I turned up the music (Um, yeah, and turned on Elmo for the kids) and started cleaning.  And, even though I don't enjoy cleaning, I loved making our house look and feel good. 


"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men"
                                                                                                                  ~Colossians 3:23



Even the jobs that we love have parts to them that we don't like.  But, we do always have a choice.  To work with all of our hearts, or to go through life half-hearted.  I have lived and worked many a day without all of my heart in it, but my desire and goal is to work as if working for the Lord.

To do every dish, every load of laundry, every report, with all of my heart.  Hmm... maybe I should be doing dishes instead of writing this blog?!

Gideon's Letter

This morning Gideon and I were finishing up some school work from the sick days he had missed.  We got to a paper where he had to write a letter.  He said "Who should I write it to?" I said "Anyone you want," (mostly because I wanted him to get on with the assignment! It was time to get moving!)
Not surprisingly, he chose Dad.  He has a great relationship with Barak and his letter blessed my heart. 

Almost brings tears every time I read it :)

Then, wouldn't you know... a few minutes later this same kid and his sister were arguing and "exchanging words" that weren't quite as kind.  Before you know it, I'm chiming in.  "If you say another mean word, you will lose 10 pennies and have a time-out." (We have been doing this thing where they all work to put pennies in a jar to fill it up.  When it's full we will do something fun.  I will admit I haven't been as consistent as I should've been, but whenever I am it works well for them.)  There were words.  There were time-outs.  Pennies were taken away.  I had to step away because I was frustrated.  This was not how our mornings were supposed to go.  This was not how my children were supposed to talk to one another.  I wasn't supposed to be raising my voice about that.  UGH!  Then I remembered something Michelle Duggar had said (Remember, mama of 19 kids.  I'm an admirer of many of her principles...not the wearing skirts part.) She said she had heard to "Make sure you praise your children 10 times more than you correct them."
My aha moment, "I have got to get back to being positive!"  So, I stopped and told them how much I loved them and how I desired for us to be a close family who builds each other up.  I'm sure all they heard was "Wa wa wa wa... wa wa wa wa..." ;)  But, I was inspired!  Then I told them that they would get a penny for every time they said something kind to each other.  Only rules, it didn't count if they were talking to me and they couldn't say the same kind thing twice.  That sounds kind of bad now that I put it in writing, but you get the drift. 
They were all about it.  I heard "I love you Hannah.  I love you Gideon.  You are a nice brother.  You are a good artist."  And the whole mood changed. 
How powerful words are.

Then, tonight at church, a high school student was telling her mom and I about youth group.  She was excited and said that the youth pastor was talking about how God never says bad things to us or beats us up, and that he (the youth pastor) referred to his own son and how he would NEVER say mean things to him. 
Gulp.  I thought, "I wish I could say I had never said anything I wish I wouldn't have to my children."

They are the most precious gifts and there have been times that I have gotten caught up in the moment and said something I regretted.  Honestly, I don't think I've ever said anything that they really remember or that was traumatic or permanently damaging.  But, I have used tones that were not called for, and words that were definitely less than Christ-like.

When I pulled in to my driveway tonight I got out of my car and literally heard yelling down the street.  It was the sound of some kids and parents arguing.  I felt so sad for the kids, and for the parents. 

All day today I have been reminded of how my words and my attitude affect others~ especially my children. I can be an outpouring of love, much like Gideon's letter, or I can "let 'em have it" as I heard when I go out of my car.  I can teach my kids to build each other up, or I can join in the party of knocking others down. 

My desire is to share the light and love of Christ to my kids through a joyful heart and words that build them up and let them know that they are loved.  My prayer is that of Psalm 19:14:

 ¹⁴ May the words of my mouth
      and the meditation of my heart
   be pleasing to you,
      O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

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