Wow, I can't believe it has been a week since I have "blogged." Amazing how even something that is so refreshing sometimes gets pushed aside in the business of life. Anyway, this is one that has been written in my mind for a few days now and has yet to make it onto paper... until now. :)
February 11th was my Father-in-law's 60th birthday. To celebrate we went out to eat at a Chinese buffet and had a great time. Well, almost everyone had a great time. Selah was in a mood. She was crying, clingy, and down-right grouchy. At one point she started to get in a better mood, and while the table was silent she said "What the heck?!" loudly. (By the way, it took a lot for me to share that. No, she doesn't hear that regularly. No, we don't say that. No, I'm not proud of it. So, please friends, don't judge me.) We all started laughing and that sent her over the top. She put her head down and was mad. We wrapped up pretty shortly after that and then headed home. I genuinely don't remember all of the details but the next few hours seriously stressed me out... to the point of tears. Finally, we got the kids to bed, and Barak headed to bed since he had an early morning and I was alone. Note: I SHOULD have gone to bed. Instead, I walked into the kitchen, had a big sigh, and started CRAVING chocolate. (Something that I was supposed to be doing without. Remember... Happy New You!) Anyway, I didn't have any and was disappointed until I remembered something that was on top of the fridge. My mom had sent some Valentine's Day packages home with me to save for the kids on Valentine's Day. There were four packages with equal amounts of candy, popcorn, and goodies in them nicely wrapped in cellophane and gathered together with ribbon. I stared. I picked one up. I examined it. I saw... a Reece's Peanut Butter Cup Heart. My FAVORITE. Oh, wow. I love them. So, I sneaked my fingers through the gathers of the cellophane and grabbed one out. I ate it. And then I thought "Well, that really isn't fair. They are going to realize that they are the only one without a PB Heart." So, I did what I thought was the most fair thing. I ate the other three. :)
It kind of makes me laugh when I actually admit to that.
So, the next Tuesday I was exercising with my good friend and workout partner and I confessed what I did to her. She said "Didn't you feel badly?" To which I replied "No." She said "Really?" I said "No." We laughed. Then we had a good conversation about my struggles with turning to food when I'm stressed. This was not a new talk, but one that needed to happen again. She said, let's just start with a small goal. You make it without sweets until we work out again together on Thursday. I said OK. And I did it! There were some moments that I wanted to cave (Like when there were 50 CASES of World's Finest Chocolate in my office for a fundraiser. Yeah, I didn't think that through!) but I didn't. I prayed. I redirected my cravings. I have been reading an amazing book called "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst and she talks about how we were made to crave God. To rely on him for strength. For comfort. For provision. NOT on food. NOT on Peanut Butter Hearts. :)
(((SIDE TRACK: By the way, an awesome book for anyone who is struggling with this. She is a fun author, yet absolutely connected to God. I felt like she stepped inside my head when she wrote it. )))
So, on Thursday my friend wasn't able to make it to work out before I had to leave. So, she texted me and said "I do need to talk to you though, so I will stop over." First of all, I was thinking "NUTS, my house is not in order." Next I thought, what in the world is this about. I texted back "Am I in trouble?" To which she responded "Did you do something to get in trouble?" Wow, she knows how to make me crazy! So I waited and then she came over and asked me how I did with sweets from Tuesday until then. I told her I had made it and was feeling good. She said "Awesome." And then handed me some eyeshadow. (more on that another day.) A little gift as a reward. What a sweet friend. So blessed by her. Thank you Cambria! :)
And to my sweet mom, I'm sorry I stole their Hearts! <3
:) love you!
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